I've got dreams...

“I’ve got dreams, dreams, dreams to remember…rough dreams, good dreams, dream dreams….” Sing it Ottis!

So…God has put a calling on my life the moment I was conceived in my mother’s womb. I’ve spent the past month reflecting over my life. I’ve laughed about the good times with family and mourned the rough times with God. What I’ve learned in the month of December is that life is a roller coaster ride. It is a roller coaster ride filled with hills and valleys, hoops and fast turns, excitement and fear. Without each section of the rollercoaster ride, life would not be as meaningful. We all need to learn to take the good with the bad, the ugly with the beautiful, and the laughter with tears. Life is completely a balancing act of finding creative outlets to let out our pinned up emotions. I used to think that life was all about being as strong as you possibly can on your own…..being as successful as you can on your own, and then spend my days hidden away in a room afraid to express any emotion, afraid to live.

Why do we do that? Why do we hide from life? Why is the unknown so scary?

It shouldn’t be….don’t we have hope?

I can’t help but be fill with conviction lately because every time I open up my bible I am reminded that life is not about me. I keep reading things from the great prophets of old. I’ve read in Isaiah where he writes, “The LORD said, ‘Earth and sky, listen to what I am saying! The children I brought up have rebelled against me. Cattle know who owns them, and donkeys know where their master feeds them. But that is more than my people Israel know. They don’t understand at all.’” Isaiah 1:2-3

Wow! That was written how long ago??

If the Lord is telling the Earth and Sky to listen to Him, don’t you think he is trying to get our attention as well? He did, after-all, create us. Why do we live life at such a fast pace, when it is supposed to be an enjoyable roller coaster ride?

I’ve begun to do this new thing where I surrender my WHOLE self over to God every day and ask His Spirit to lead my path of footprints. When I actually let go of everything He orchestrates incredible miracles.

My fear of being uncomfortable and my fear of the unknown and my worry of tomorrow is diminishing more and more everyday because I have experienced the TRUE LOVE of MY God!

My challenge to ALL of you is to hop on board to this wonderful roller-coaster ride of life and start reaping the beautiful benefits OUR God wants to give us!

“I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippines 4:13

Oh… BTW I have a few updates for you guys:

1. I was able to speak at St. Paul’s parish and fund raise for missions. God bless ALL of you at St. Paul’s! Thank you so much for your generosity!

2. I will be going to language school in the next month or two in Mexico, be praying for me to know when God’s timing for this is.

3. In February some time I am going down to General with my mission team of Erika and the Baquets. Please pray for our safety and our ability to surrender our will’s to hear what God’s will is for us!

Well, it’s been lovely chatting with YOU, but it is now time for me to go to bed. Good night and God Bless!!

“Tremble with fear and stop sinning; think deeply about this, when you lie in silence on your beds. Offer the right sacrifices to the LORD, and put your trust in him.” Psalm 4:4-5

Don’t Forget Who You Are!

Don’t forget who you are!

Hello, my name is Sarah Carroll and I have a problem. I have what is called general anxiety disorder that requires me to take medication everyday. If I don’t take the medication that I need there are some pretty crazy (kind of funny) side effects. When I went to General Cepeda on mission in November I was feeling so good that I forgot to take my medication, I mean how easy is it to forget something that you need when you are feeling so good you feel like you don’t need medication.

Well I forgot to take my medication and I also willingly broke my singles commitment I made in September when I joined FMC. Terrible decisions. Don’t forget who you are!!! When I joined Intake in September, I became so worried about what my brothers and sisters in Christ would think of me that I wasn’t quite myself. I am a loud, obnoxious, opinionated person who likes to express my opinion.
I am also a rule follower so much so that it is almost a fault (laugh it’s funny). I am an artist, scientist, nurturer. Lover of God and daughter of God. During Intake I held back big time because I thought people wouldn’t accept my disorder and accept my personality. What a lie from Satan! You have to watch out for him, he’ll get you every time!

Throughout Intake I trusted God, but partly took my life into my own hands thinking I needed to control every situation, “Sarah, you are not in control, God is!!!” As some of you may have read previously in my blog, when God speaks to me and tells me what he wants me to do, He has to scream at me because I am sooooo stubborn. To get me to FMC, he had to make it rain in a desert, not dessert (previous blonde moment :-) ) Plans were being made for me to go to Philippines with the Alvarez family and I thought, “Wow, what a great plan, I can be super woman and fly across the world and help so many children.” I, I, I, how many times did I think what does God want? Where is God sending me? I didn’t. I took control yet again.

Don’t forget who you are and who is in control! While Susanna came home for Thanksgiving with me to meet all of my friends and family, the people that I love so dearly in Florida, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t sleep because I love my sister Susanna so much and I wanted to show her how wonderful my family is and my whole world in Florida. “Sarah, what is more important sleeping so that you are healthy or showing someone your family?” Both things are very important, but in the right context. Health is more important sometimes than doing ministry because if we aren’t healthy how can we serve God? I also couldn’t sleep in Florida because I needed to talk to Frank and Genie (my missionary parents) about the singles commitment I made and willingly disobeyed. Again big time rule follower, I can’t stand breaking rules.

In the past week I’ve had the hugest meltdown that I’ve ever had in my life and it has been a total gift from God. During my meltdown I’ve had so many flashbacks of my past life. My past life is in the past, not right now in the moment and I forgot that. God has huge plans for me and I don’t know what they are yet. All I know is that I love him so much, I love people so much, I love learning about new cultures, I love missions, I love life, I love children, I love talking, I love teaching.
All I know is that for the month of December he wants me to be with my family and I am okay with that. He knows better than I do, and I have to learn to trust him every moment of every day. I have to let him teach me how to live for today and think of today. Planning is a great thing to do, but not if it drives you crazy! Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and be okay with it. I hope you’ve enjoyed my story. I for the first time in my life feel like I really have a real story to share an I’m so excited to share it with the world!!!

Important Lessons

My time in General Cepeda has been a time of growth and learning. I’ve learned new things about my self and things that break my heart. Our first week here we had a seminar called “Life in the Spirit”. During our seminar we learned more about the holy Spirit and the gifts of the Spirit. On our last day of the seminar, we were prayed over for the holy Spirit to pour down on us and to give us the gifts of tongues, healing, prophesy, wisdom and other things. While I was prayed over, two people had visions. It’s amazing that God can speak to someone in a vision to tell someone else something. Sorry if that sentence was slightly vague! While the praying went on, I could feel the presence of the Spirit in the room and emotions were definitely high. Just about everyone was crying. It was truly a moving and amazing experience.

We didn’t really start going to the ranchos (small villages on the outskirts of General) or on home visits until the second week. For my first home visit, we visited a lady named Maria. She has a little more money and a nicer home than most of the people we visit, but she is very sick. When we got there and she was lying in a bed all covered up. She actually spends all her time in bed these days. When we got there, she had a bandage on her big toe, so during conversation Brianne (the missionary leading my group on home visits) asked her what happened to her toe. Maria’s daughter had to answer for her because Maria didn’t’ know what was wrong with her toe. Maria’s daughter took the bandage off to show us. Maria has gangrene. It has caused her to lose her right leg and the flesh on her big toe. She will probably also lose her left leg.

To make a long story shorter, before we left we asked if there was anything that she would like us to pray for. She asked, “Can you pray for this world that we live in, for peace in the world?” Wow! Was I shocked at her prayer request. Here is this lady who is confined to her bed, probably in so much pain everyday and instead of asking us to pray for healing from gangrene or healing from her suffering, she asked for us to pray for world peace. Brianne brought to mind when we left, that she asked us to pray for a world that has already forgotten that she exists; a world that doesn’t care about her at all. This experience was definitely an important lesson. It reminded me that I need humility and that I also need to think others more important than myself. Life doesn’t revolve around me, nor is it about me; it’s about what the Lord can use me for to better His kingdom.

We’ve visited several ranchos the second week, but one sticks out in my mind. This rancho was really far away. It took about forty-five minutes to get there. Odilio, Sidney, and I gave testimonies without really being prepared to share. Come holy Spirit!! After we gave testimonies one of the men that lives in the rancho stood up to share a testimony. He shared how his parents raised him to have great faith in the Lord. He also shared that the Lord takes care of them. When he was talking he said how some days they go with out food, but the Lord always provides. This statement broke my heart. Here I am, an American that considers myself to be living in Gospel poverty, but I eat at least three meals a day. Through this man’s testimony, I realized that having three meals a day isn’t a necessity, but rather, a luxury. I also realized that in missions so many of the people I come in contact with are going to have physical needs like medication, money and food. I know that I am not always going to be able to provide for their physical needs, but I can always provide for their spiritual needs. If they know the Lord, they have everything.

I know that life in missions is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I also know that it is going to stretch and grow me more than anything else I could do. I am looking forward to my first year in missions and the wonderful ways the Lord is going to bless me through the people He leads me to.

First Evangelization Night in Mexico

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve updated you guys. Life has gotten busy! I am currently in General Cepeda, Mexico. Last night was our first evangelization opportunity. We would normally go to one of the local villages and invite all of the people to the chapel for a prayer meeting, but because of the violence in other parts of Mexico we are taking special safety precautions by not traveling out of the city at night. We went to a little chapel on a hill and held a prayer meeting. I was given the opportunity to share a testimony of how the Lord increased my faith. It is amazing how God can change your fears, or give you courage when you need it. I used to freak out if I had to stand up in front of people to share. I would actually avoid it at all times!! Now, the more I get up in front of people and share, the more the Lord is healing me of my public speaking fear!

After few other missionaries and I shared my testimony, Mrs. Genie preached. We also sang a few songs and praised the Lord together. If you’ve never had the opportunity to praise the Lord with people who speak a different language then you, you need to come to Mexico!!! It is amazing to know that the Lord can understand the person next to me speaking another language and me at the same time! Okay, back to last night…after Mrs. Genie preached we offered prayer for the people. We stood in the front of the chapel and people would come to be prayed over. I could definitely feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. While I was praying for one of the ladies, I felt the Lord say, “Let go Sarah. Let go of your fears of what I might do through you. Let go and let me work through you.” I know that the Lord provided miracles last night.

Throughout my training, I’ve heard so many stories of the signs and wonders people have seen God do. I’ve thought how awesome that those people experienced God in that way, but surely I cannot do that. Not true! I know that God wants to do signs and wonders through me. I know that he wants to use me to provide miracles for others; I just have to be open for it. Please pray for me. Pray that I can completely abandon myself so that the Lord can work in me and through me. Pray for my fears of the gifts of the Spirit will fade away and that I will receive the gifts of the Spirit. Pray that the Lord will use me for His kingdom building. God Bless you all!!

Give Praise

For the past several days, I've had this feeling of exhaustion that I could not shake. I can't seem to catch up on sleep, no matter how many attempts I've made to go to bed earlier. When I entered into my personal prayer this morning while sitting on the porch swing, I was praying about my tiredness amongst other things and a powerful wind began blowing. I felt as though it was the Spirit of the Lord, reminding me of His presence. When I would pray for specific things the wind would blow harder. I really felt the holy Spirit telling me, "I got this, it's in my hands. Let go. I am taking care of it." What a relief! Now that I'm reflecting back on those moments this morning, I am thinking how much power things have over us when we hold on to them; even the things that aren't bad things. I've been praying really hard for a friend of mine and this person has been heavy on my heart. This morning during my prayer time, I felt like I had a revelation. All I can do is pray and plant seeds. I am not responsible for making those seeds grow. Praise God! Some weight has been lifted. Some energy has been restored!

During our community prayer this morning we each lifted up our petitions to the Lord, and again I prayed for the Lord to provide me with energy and strength I need for the day. I asked him to relieve me of my tiredness. After our community prayer we had our Si Senor talk and it was ALL about praise and thanksgiving. We read many MANY scriptures in the bible about giving praise and thanksgiving and really just spent time discussing instances in our own lives where we gave praise to the Lord. After our talk was over we sang a praise song to the Lord and I felt so energized. I felt the burden of tiredness lifted. I felt energy from the Lord and left with a knowing that I will be able to make it through this day with ease! Praise you Jesus!

"Shout joyfully to the Lord, all you lands; worship the Lord with cries of gladness; come before him wiht joyful song. Know that the Lord is God, our maker to whom we belong, whose people we are, God's well-tended flock. Enter the temple gates with praise, its courts with thanksgiving. Give thanks to God, bless his name, good indeed is the Lord, whose love endures forever, whose faithfulness lasts through every age." Psalm 100

SHOUT joyfully to the Lord. Do not keep your praises silent!!!! Glory to you O'Lord! Praise be your name!


Praise is the most powerful weapon we have against the enemy. He absolutely hates it when we won't give in to the ways of the world and instead of being negative or angry when situations arise, we praise the Lord. So give praise in ALL things, the good and the bad!

Week of October 18-24

I love waking up in the mornings and going for a jog in the dark. I love the exhaustion I feel at the end of my jog and how God restores my energy throughout the day. I love surrendering the first parts of my day, the first fruits, for my Jesus. I love that most mornings I’m blessed with the pure hearts of the kids that are here. I was heading back up to my apartment from my time in the chapel and Bridget and Annie were sitting downstairs at the table coloring and they both said, “we are ‘painting’ you a picture!” The way that kids are able to make you feel so special is amazing. I am so blessed to have so much love in my life ALL day everyday!

Wednesday I was given the opportunity to share a little bit about what missions means for me at Mission Formation. I didn't have anything prepared, but I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me, so I stood up and He provided me with the words. Mr. Frank asked Esther earlier that day to prepare a talk about the book of Esther to share at Mission Formation and when it was her time to speak, she froze. Let me mention that Esther is only nine years old. She is an amazing nine year old and challenges my walk with Christ often. I took her in the Chapel after her melt down and prayed with her for awhile. She never did share her report that night, but a new bond was formed between us. I feel like I am now her older sister and she looks up to me as such. I've never been an older sister, so it is a beautiful feeling to know that this little girl looks up to me.

Last night we had a dance party after Lord's day. We rearranged the tables in the dining room and transformed the area into a ball room. We taught the kids new dances and just spent time laughing, learning, and enjoying one another. If you want to have a good cardio workout, plan a dance party with 16 kids and few adults and you will achieve it! It was so much fun and again I left the big house feeling so blessed. I am so happy that the Lord called me to be a missionary when He did. I am so blessed to be at Big Woods with two other families, three other singles and 16 children. Love surrounds me, and God is so evident in this place.

Last Week

I’d be lying if I said last week was easy. I know that being a missionary, especially when I’m in another country, is going to have hardships. I can’t pinpoint one specific thing that made my week hard, but each day was a struggle. I would wake up wanting to go back to sleep. I felt almost depressed and couldn’t snap out of it. I couldn’t feel God near and that made things more difficult. I struggled through out the first part of my week with this sadness and depression and mostly struggled alone; the enemy wanted it that way. In the middle of the week, I finally asked one of my roommates to pray for me at the end of the day, and after she did I felt lighter and had some joy. The next morning I woke up with the same yucky fog of sadness. On Friday during our Si Senor talk Mr. Frank discussed spiritual warfare and how real it is and how to handle it. I felt in some ways that I was experiencing some serious attacks from the enemy.

On Saturday we had a “work day” in the morning and my roommates Madi and Susanna and I got to clean our apartment. Cleaning, especially if I am going through something, is quite enjoyable to me. Later in the day we had “desert day” and my time was spent under a tree in the shade until one of the horses disturbed my peace and tried to eat my bible and journal. The next place I went God spoke some truth into my heart. “For by his innermost nature man is a social being, and unless he relates himself to others he can neither live nor develop his potential,” Vatican II documents. Okay, I get it. No more spending time wallowing in my sadness. I have to spend time with others and through that I knew I would be relieved of my sadness. I was.

Highlights of the week:

One of the Eckstine girls, Bridget, has a way of brightening my day. Earlier last week I had gone to my apartment for something and stopped to talk to her. When I was trying to leave she yells at me,” Wait, I forgot to give you a kiss!!” I am so loved! She definitely brightened my day!

For my early morning jogs, God kept me on my feet at all times! :)

On Saturday night we celebrated “Lord’s Day” and also Madi’s birthday. After dinner, we had a bon fire and roasted marshmallows and had smores. We sang songs by the campfire and just spent time talking to one another and entertaining the kids.

I would like to leave you with this: “At a time when you did not know God, you became slaves to things that by nature and are not gods; but now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and destitute elemental powers? Do you want to be slaves to them all over again?” Galations 4:8-9 “For freedom Christ set us free; so stand firm and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1 Do not turn back to your old ways before you allowed God to save you from your slavery, whatever it may be. It is okay to struggle with things of the past, but not to submit to them. Stand firm in the freedom that God gives you!

Sorry for slacking on posting on Sunday, 10/10/10, so I will try to give you a recap of last week, at least the best I can remember!!
Monday
Interesting adventure of the day: The horses got out of the pasture and we had to "chase" them with the suburban and then Sidney and I got out of the car and tried to walk them back to the pastures. It wasn't until Mr. Frank came that the horses actually obeyed and went back home! There is never a dull moment at big woods!!
Tuesday
Today was pioneer day, which I'll be honest, I had no idea what was going to happen. I soon learned that we were having different booths set up for the kids to learn how life was like for the pioneers. It was so cute to see some of the girls dressed in their long skirts with aprons and bonnets. On this day, the kids learned how to tie knots, build a campfire, make butter and cheese, sew quilting patches and buttons on fabric, and dances that might have been done by the pioneers. It was a day filled with laughter, learning, and praises to God. Andrea, the missionary in charge of pioneer day, had only sent seven emails out to people and almost thirty families came to the event. I don't think I've ever seen so many kids at the same time. It was an incredibly blessed day!
Wednesday
Today was a bit of a rough day. I think it was my hardest day yet at Big Woods. Nothing particuarlly bad happened today, I was just very much in my head and believing the lies Satan often tries to feed me. I was finally delivered out of this gloom after I went to mass!
Thursday
Thursday's are our community leisure night so all of the singles and James went to mass and then after headed to Lafayette for pizza. We ate at La Pizzaria. It was a very enjoyable experience to just get away from the country for a little while and hang out with friends.
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday
All three days a little bit of a blur to me at this point. I know that I realized on Thursday night that my parents were coming in to town, so I waited in excited anticipation for their arrival. On Saturday they finally made it out to Big Woods and actually helped all of the missionaries work on Joseph's house. It was very nice to be able to share some of what I am doing here with my parents. Saturday night my mom cooked one of my favorite meals. There is nothing better than some of momma's good cookin'! All the singles and James ate with me and my mom and then we had a game night. It was so nice to be able to share my mother with my friends! Sunday I went to mass and spent the rest of the day relaxing and preparing for a talk I had to give the next day. It was a day as God intends. It was a very needed day of rest!

October 3, 2010

A lot has happened this week, and I haven’t been doing the best job of keeping record. I’ll try to rewind and start from the beginning….

Monday

Today we had breakfast and prayer at the big house and then we had our Si Senor talk. This time it was on Evangelization. It is really cool how God works, because before our talk, I had prayer and was reading in 1Timothy 1. What struck me in this scripture was, “The aim of this instruction is love from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith. Some people have deviated from these and turned to meaningless talk, wanting to be teachers of the law, but without understanding what they are saying or what they assert with such assurance.” 1Timothy 1:5-7. After reading this, I realized that I let my desire to be a teacher for Christ I’ve had meaningless talks with people, saying things that I heard others say, but not really know the material I was talking about. It was really awesome to see that after I read about all of this and had some conviction in my heart, I was being taught on Evangelization. God provides! I can’t really remember what else went on this day and I will try to document better next week!

Tuesday

This morning, I woke up really REALLY tired; all I wanted to do was go back to sleep and escape the day. That is not a possibility here. I sat in my special place and started praying and pouring out my thoughts into my journal. I picked up my bible and read in 1Timothy 1:12, “I am grateful to Him who has strengthened me, Christ Jesus our Lord because he considered me trustworthy in appointing me to the ministry.” First of all, Jesus strengthens me. This doesn’t’ just mean that he makes us spiritually strong, he can make us physically strong, or give us energy for the day that seems impossible. Second of all, He considers me trustworthy in appointing me to the ministry! What an honor. Just reading that gave me a little more strength. I actually felt like I could make it through the day.

After breakfast and prayer with the whole group, we had a short workday. Most of the ladies stayed at the big house and organized. Mrs. Genie asked me if I could bring her something to Our Lady on the Bayou. This gave me an opportunity to escape for a little while in my car with my music and my windows rolled down. It was the best car ride I’ve had in a long time. I had a praise cd on and the weather was beautiful outside. Through that car ride, I was refreshed, strengthened, and energized. I love that God uses the small things in life to show me his love and presence in my life!

Wednesday

Accomplishment of the day: I ran the WHOLE mile this morning! I didn’t stop to walk once! It’s crazy how things can be so different from day to day. Yesterday I woke up so exhausted and just wanted to sleep the whole day away and today I ran a mile! Crazy! I know I haven’t been a missionary for long but I realized through the course of the day that I don’t think I can feel as fulfilled as I am now doing anything else with my life. I was listening to a song earlier and the lyrics are: “Draw me close to you, and never let me go. I will give my life so that the world will know, everything you are and all that you have done, how you gave your son.” I do give my whole life to you Lord Jesus, so tell me where you want me to go and I will go. Tell me what to say and I will say it. Tell me what to give and I will give it. “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be fishing for me… they left EVERYTHING and followed him.” Luke 5:10-11

Thursday

Today we had our work project day. We went to Our Lady on the Bayou and worked on filling the dumpster that we got. I didn’t know that one building could have so many closets full of so much junk! Not only does this place have many closets, they are huge! Throughout the day I realized how much God had given women the desire to mother. It’s not something that we learn, but something we are born with. All of the little girls with us today, mother their little brother and sisters when they are crying, or when they get hurt. I also got to see how much little girls think the world of their daddies. Rachel, one of the Ecksteins, told me that her daddy is the safest daddy in the world. When she said that I could see the adoration in her eyes! It was a good representation of how we are to love our Heavenly Father.

Tonight we had leisure night and I got to have sushi!! It’s the small things in life that make me happy!

Friday

Happy Birthday to me!

Today was such a blessed day and such a good birthday. We went to mass to celebrate the feast day of Saint Theresa who is the patron saint of foreign missions. Who would have thought that it would be the feast day of the saint of foreign missions on my birthday? Pretty cool right?! After mass we went to the park in Abbeville and had a picnic and spent time outdoors. So, for my birthday I got to go to a park, have a picnic, and swing on the swings. All of my favorite things! The weather was also perfect too! Even though I am far away from my family and friends that I love and miss so much, God poured out his love for me and provided me with new brothers and sisters in Christ!

Saturday

“He must increase, I must decrease.” John 3:30

Highlight of the day: Disney song dance party with all the kids. It started off with me, a few adults, and all the kids doing headstands in the living room, and turned into a random dance party. It was so much fun and so exhausting. I’m learning how to let loose and have fun again!

By the way, I can only post on Sundays.

September 17, 2010

Today was desert day, which wasn’t in the desert. We took our bag lunches and found some place to be quiet with God somewhere on the Big Woods property. I saw the exact spot from afar where I was going to sit. Once I got to the spot, about three horses were standing where I wanted to sit. I’ve always been afraid of large animals, especially horses, because they have minds of their own and can hurt you if they so please. I wasn’t so afraid today. I was able to reach out and pet one of them. I feel as though God is healing me of some of the fears that I once had. So… back to desert day. I was sitting out in a field under a tree reading my bible and praying and this dragonfly wouldn’t leave me alone. It kept on landing on my bible or my journal, or my leg. I finally looked closely at it and realized it had a broken wing. It was still flying with its broken wing. I felt like God was telling me that I too can fly, even if I have broken wings. I can soar for Him with all of my imperfections! It was an awesome reminder that I’m not perfect, I need Jesus, and with Him I can move mountains!!!

September 20, 2010

Today was the first official day of Intake. I woke up early for my run, had my personal prayer time, and got ready for breakfast. After breakfast we had morning- prayer together. Once we finished prayer we had talk after talk after talk about different things. One of the talks was out of the Vatican II documents and all of it sounded like Greek to me. I was so overwhelmed, and this is only the first day! I was thinking in my head, “I’m not going be able to make it through these next months, because it’s the first real day and I’m already so confused!” That was exactly what Satan wanted me to think. I talked everything over with Mrs. Genie and she said that it was an unusual day. Did I mention that I got my first assignment that day too! Read out of the Catechism and give a report on what I read. Oh man….. I have to talk in front of everyone???!! Life as a missionary is already presenting challenges, but I know that with God I can over come them!

September 21, 2010

God always gives us exactly what we need. For those who don’t know, I’m very hard on my self with just about everything in my life. This morning I slept past my alarm, and therefore didn’t go for a jog. Last night before I went to bed, I didn’t read the material that I should have. Those two things along with a few other thoughts made me feel like a failure when I woke up this morning as well as really frustrated with myself. When I got to my spot where I have my personal prayer time, I poured out all of my frustrations to God. After I was finished praying and pouring my heart out to Him, I looked up and there was a rainbow. This was unusual because it was 7:30 in the morning. It was a nice little blessing to remind me that God was with me there on that porch swing. Thank you God for the little ways you speak so personally to me!

September 24, 2010

Today I had to give my testimony on why I am a missionary. By giving this talk, I also had to give some background for the story to make sense. Well about an hour before I was going to talk, I became so nervous. When you think about, most people get nervous before having to speak in front of people, so shouldn’t that be comforting? Well it wasn’t. I decided to go into the chapel to pray for a little while. I asked the Holy Spirit for peace and for the words I said to be His words and not my own. I really spent time preparing for my testimony and wrote everything out. When I started speaking in front of the group I was reading off of my paper and then I felt the Holy Spirit moving. I didn’t need the words on my paper any more, He was giving me the word to say. My story went well and I had the most incredible high after that! It made me realize that God is going to throw many things in my path for me to do, and they are going to stretch me, but I have to do them. Being a missionary means that I’m going to constantly be stretched and do things that are going to be uncomfortable, but God is going to use them to bring Himself glory! Praise be Jesus Christ!

So, this morning I woke up knowing that today was the day that I started on the newest journey God has me on. Today is the day I move to Big Woods, to start my mission career……

The last few months have been filled with lots of work, lots of family time, and lots of preparation for my new journey! About three weeks before I came to Louisiana I was so worried about how I was going to pay for the first part of Intake, which was $1000. I knew God was going to provide, I just didn’t know where the money was going to come from. I decided to have a garage sale and my mom’s friends and sister donated things to it. The sale was a success and I made $391. My old roommate Heather paid me $250 for all of my furniture that she and her husband have been using and it is now theirs. So that puts the total earned money towards Intake at $641, close to my goal of $1000, but not quite there. I had no idea where the rest of the money was going to come from and about a week before Intake started I heard from Sarah Kate (a worker at Family Missions Company) that I had $325 left in my account from a trip I took to Mexico this summer. Yahoo!!! The new total is now at $966. Now I’m really almost there! When I arrived in Louisiana, one of my stops was my Aunt Cindy’s house. When I got there, she slipped a check into my purse for $50. You can do the math, but I reached the goal for Intake! God is so good. He always provides exactly what we need.

On another note, today isn’t just the start of Intake, it was also the birth of two very special babies! Baby Liam and baby Eli were born today!!!!

So, some of you are probably wondering about the name of my blog. While I was in Mexico this summer on a two week mission trip with Family Missions Company, I felt God calling me to missions. I didn't know what that meant, so I spent some time in prayer. I went ahead and told God that I would go where ever he wanted me to go and do what he wanted me to do. On our trip in Mexico, we had a day called desert day, which is where we went out into the desert with only our bibles and journals and had quiet prayer time with God. While in the desert I told God if he wanted me to go to Intake 2010, he had to make it rain in the desert. Well it started raining. I then told him it wasn't raining hard enough. When we got back to the mission house, it rained so hard, it flooded inside of the house and then hailed! I feel like the hail was the exclamation point on God saying, "Sarah you are going to Intake 2010!" So this is where the name of the blog began and actually my journey on missions began that day in Mexico