The past few weeks have been filled with so many emotions. Some days I am frustrated, confused, and lost; others I am filled with direction, determination, and joy. The experience of language school has been one to test my faith. Some days I fear that I am losing faith and the will to continue, but I know that to be false for the simple fact that I wake up each day willing to try again. Even though things here have been difficult, the Lord is providing for me in big ways. As you probably already know, Erika was with me for my first week of language school. Once she left, I really made friends with some of the students at IDEAL. Two of the students are missionaries and seminarians. It is a blessing to have people around me that share (somewhat) the same vocation as I do, as well as, the same faith. It has made my time here easier. I actually have friends to go to mass with and to hang out with. I actually have friends to have bible studies with. I am also beginning to feel like Selene, Carlos, and Coco (my host family) are family. My favorite time of the day with my family is dinner time, because I love to hear the silly stories of Coco (she is ten), even though sometimes I cannot understand them! :)
Last week I had one really good day. One of the prayers I have been praying since I've been here is, "Lord, please show me what my mission is here." Because I know so little Spanish I am tempted to say I can't do missions here in Cuernavaca because there is still such a large language barrier, but then I remember Mrs. Genie saying, "Can you smile? Then you can be a missionary!" On Wednesday my friend Som was putting on the communion service at the church we go to and he asked if I could type up his sermon so he could translate it to Spanish on his computer. I said yes and actually felt like I was contributing to the building of the kingdom. I know that the Lord can use my talents here in Cuernavaca whether I can speak Spanish or not. I know that serving my host family each day is being missionary. I know that smiling at the people I pass in the street is being missionary. I know that praying for my brothers and sisters in the mission field as well as all of my loved ones is being missionary. I know that I am being used by the Lord in many small ways.
As usual, one of my struggles has been to stay in the present moment. I keep finding myself thinking, "What's next? Where am I going to go?" I don't want to continue wishing the present away by thinking of the future. I know that the Lord has plans for me in the present and plans for my future. I know that He will reveal my future plans in His perfect timing. SARAH, DON'T WISH YOUR LIFE AWAY! Please be praying for me to embrace Cuernavaca as my home for now and to patiently wait on what the Lord has for me next.
"Your life in Christ makes you strong, and his love comforts you. You have fellowship with the Spirit, and you have kindness and compassion for for one another." Philippians 2:1
Mi iglesia (sorry it's not the greatest picture)Jardin BordaInside Jardin Borda
I'll end with this, "Build me a home inside your scars. Build me a home inside your open arms, the only place I ever will belong." Jon Foreman