Does God ever hit you on top of the head?

Hello, how are YOU? I'm fantastic....thank you so much for asking!!

So, I'm not sure if I actually mentioned it in my previous post, but for the last month and a half, I've gone through a spiritually dry season. I know that everyone feels that God is distant sometimes, but it is never easy to go through. Well, I was talking to my roommate Susanna about my spiritual drought around a week ago. She told me that sometimes something in our lives makes God distant, like sin or something like that. I told her I couldn't think of anything. She said for me to pray about it and ask God. Well I realized how negative I had been for the past month and a half and I told Susanna that I thought maybe that was it. That night I prayed before I went to bed for the Lord to help me to let go of the negativity in my life.

I woke up the next day with a smile on my face and singing praises to my Jesus! The drought felt over. I could feel the love of the Lord all around me! It was AMAZING! I spent the whole day pretty much smiling and singing praises.

The next day when my alarm rang, instead of getting up a little early to have my personal prayer time, I snoozed until the last possible minute to get up in time for community prayer. I thought, "Well, I'll just spend time with the Lord after community prayer." Immediately after prayer, Mrs. Genie had specific tasks for ALL of us to do to help her with finishing her book. My task was to go to Our Lady on the Bayou to pick up some stuff. I decided that I would just spend some time in the chapel at Our Lady on the Bayou to pray.

I did that and received a reading...a reading that kind of hit me on the head and pierced my heart.

"You are patient, you have suffered for my sake, and you have not given up." Revelation 2:3

After reading this part of the reading I received, I thought, "yes, I have been so patient during my spiritual dryness. I didn't give up. I continued to seek the Lord." I didn't expect to read what I read next.

"But this is what I have against you: you do not love me now as you did at first." Revelation 2:4

Ouch. That is a hard verse to swallow. I know that it is so true. I haven't been loving the Lord now as I did at first. I used to sacrifice for him daily. I used to wake up extra early to spend time in prayer and seek the Lord through His word. What I have been doing lately is fitting Him in where ever I have five minutes or so. Why would I expect to feel Him near when I have slowly been pushing Him away. No relationship would last if one person was only giving the other person the time left over in the day. Why did I think that this was okay?

Again, thank goodness that his mercies are new each day and that we have a fresh start every day!

This week, I've been receiving a lot of verses on dying. In Romans it says, "For when we die, we are set free from the power of sin. Since we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him." Romans 6:7-8

I know that the Lord is calling me to die to myself every day. I know I have to abandon my will so that He can reveal His will for me. I also know that in dying to my flesh, and becoming nothing, He will raise me up.

So, to sum up the life lessons in this blog: "Love the Lord your God with all you heart, all you soul, all your might, and all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5 and die to yourself so that you can live with Christ.

Since we've made it through the life lessons for the week, I'd like to share some highlights....

I made homemade pizza for the first time...I mean completely homemade. Homemade dough and homemade sauce!

Doesn't it look delicious? It was pretty yummy if I do say so myself.

Faith Camp Valentines dance at Our Lady on the Bayou

Cajun dancing with friends at Randols in Lafayette

Well guys, I hope you've enjoyed this post. Have a blessed week!

Are you comfortable?

I apologize to YOU all for not doing a better job of keeping up with my blog. I've surprisingly been really busy, but that is not an excuse!

I would like to update you guys on what's been going on in the month of January and the beginning of February.

At the beginning of January I moved back to Big Woods in Abbeville, La where my mission company's base is located. I've had the opportunity to serve in our office here and see how much work really goes into missions. It has been really blessed to get to know everyone in the office a little better and to be able to use my time to give them a hand. Around January 16th we said farewell to the Eckstine family and Sidney Savoie, who are now at their first mission post in St. Lucia. I must admit that I am slightly jealous of them being in mission already! :)

January 20th, James, Susanna, and I left Louisiana and headed up north to Steubenville. We spent almost 24 hours in a car straight! It was quite an adventure! I saw snow for the FIRST time!! Woo Hoo!! It was absolutely beautiful! I was able to meet some really awesome people and experience my first Festival of Praise at Franciscan University. We didn't really make plans on where to stay while we were on our adventure, but the Lord provided in big ways! Our first night in Steubenville, we were welcomed by some of our friend's friends. The next night we stayed with some of James' friends. Each place we went, we were completely welcomed and greeted with hugs! It was amazing for me to see that when we share Christ, we truly are family! After spending two days in Steubenville, we hopped back into the car to travel to D.C. There, Susanna's uncle provided us a place to stay. On Monday the 24th, James, Susanna and I met up with Teresa Reardon (another missionary with FMC) at the youth rally for the March for Life. It was an awesome rally! We all participated in the March for Life. It was definitely a great experience! We finally made it back to Louisiana on 26th. I don't think I've ever traveled that many miles in such a short time! It was truly an exciting adventure! I spent the next week trying to get back into the swing of things and to catch up on rest!

So, remember how I said earlier that I was slightly jealous of the St. Lucia team already being on mission? Well, I've had a hard time still being stateside and waiting on the Lord's timing for me to move to Mexico. It's not easy waiting! I've completely had a bad attitude about being state side and I've forgotten what the Lord has called me to. In the last few weeks I've become very comfortable with my walk and relationship with the Lord. I've been putting in minimal time with Him and not really looking for opportunities to serve and love my brothers and sisters in Christ. When the opportunities to serve would come up, I would do the things that would take the least amount of effort and the least amount of my time. I've become very selfish in the last few weeks.

No beuno!

I am thankful that His mercies are new each day and He doesn't let us stray too far!

This past week I've been given three opportunities to serve and with each one I said yes, but was grumbling inside and sometimes aloud about it. On Tuesday I was given the opportunity to speak at a Catholic school in Franklin, La. Susanna and I shared about the missionary vocation to a group of seventh graders, a group of seniors, and a group of sophomores. I had forgotten how wonderful it feels to share what the Lord has done in my life this past year and to share missions with others. Second opportunity to serve was Wednesday. FMC put on a little family retreat about the domestic church. My attitude going into this event was, "I served yesterday, what do you mean I have to do it again today?" What?? I'm ashamed to admit how bad my attitude really was. I served that night, but my heart was not in it at all. The very next day John Paul Summers, the youth minister for FMC, asked Susanna and me if we could help him with a conformation retreat on Saturday. Susanna said yes immediately and I said yes a little later after grumbling a little.

I decided Saturday morning before we left for the retreat that I wasn't going to hold back for this opportunity. I decided before I left that I was going to be positive and joyful. Once we got to the retreat and spent a little time with the students, I felt the need to share my testimony. I told John Paul and we decided where it would fit in best. When the time approached for me to get up and share, I didn't think I would even be able to stand up because I was having a terrible anxiety attack. I'm thankful that the Lord takes care of us because John Paul completely forgot that I was sharing! I brought it to his attention that I was supposed to share and we decided that it would be best later in the evening.

In the middle of our praise and worship time I really felt the holy Spirit nudging me to get up and share and so I did. The Lord provided me with the words to say and calmed my nerves for the short time I was up there in front of the students. Again, I was reminded of how good it feels to do work for the Lord and I felt blessed to be His servant!

I realize now that my bad attitude and grumbling was sort of out of fear. I have become afraid, again, of putting myself out there for the Lord and allowing Him to use me. I have become afraid of being uncomfortable and maybe, possibly making a fool of myself. Sarah, fear is not of God! Sarah, this life is NOT about you!

The lessons that I have learned in this month are that the Lord's timing is ALWAYS perfect. I have learned that I'm not in Mexico yet because there are things that the Lord wants me to do right here in Louisiana. I have learned that I need to look for the opportunities to serve while I'm still stateside EVERYDAY and I need to serve with an open and joyful heart. I have learned that it is NEVER okay to get comfortable in my faith!

I am looking forward to the upcoming weeks and the opportunities to share my faith with others.

Please be praying for me. Pray that I will receive the grace I need to do the Lord's will each and everyday, and to wait for His precious timing. You are all in my prayers!

God Bless!

I've got dreams...

“I’ve got dreams, dreams, dreams to remember…rough dreams, good dreams, dream dreams….” Sing it Ottis!

So…God has put a calling on my life the moment I was conceived in my mother’s womb. I’ve spent the past month reflecting over my life. I’ve laughed about the good times with family and mourned the rough times with God. What I’ve learned in the month of December is that life is a roller coaster ride. It is a roller coaster ride filled with hills and valleys, hoops and fast turns, excitement and fear. Without each section of the rollercoaster ride, life would not be as meaningful. We all need to learn to take the good with the bad, the ugly with the beautiful, and the laughter with tears. Life is completely a balancing act of finding creative outlets to let out our pinned up emotions. I used to think that life was all about being as strong as you possibly can on your own…..being as successful as you can on your own, and then spend my days hidden away in a room afraid to express any emotion, afraid to live.

Why do we do that? Why do we hide from life? Why is the unknown so scary?

It shouldn’t be….don’t we have hope?

I can’t help but be fill with conviction lately because every time I open up my bible I am reminded that life is not about me. I keep reading things from the great prophets of old. I’ve read in Isaiah where he writes, “The LORD said, ‘Earth and sky, listen to what I am saying! The children I brought up have rebelled against me. Cattle know who owns them, and donkeys know where their master feeds them. But that is more than my people Israel know. They don’t understand at all.’” Isaiah 1:2-3

Wow! That was written how long ago??

If the Lord is telling the Earth and Sky to listen to Him, don’t you think he is trying to get our attention as well? He did, after-all, create us. Why do we live life at such a fast pace, when it is supposed to be an enjoyable roller coaster ride?

I’ve begun to do this new thing where I surrender my WHOLE self over to God every day and ask His Spirit to lead my path of footprints. When I actually let go of everything He orchestrates incredible miracles.

My fear of being uncomfortable and my fear of the unknown and my worry of tomorrow is diminishing more and more everyday because I have experienced the TRUE LOVE of MY God!

My challenge to ALL of you is to hop on board to this wonderful roller-coaster ride of life and start reaping the beautiful benefits OUR God wants to give us!

“I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippines 4:13

Oh… BTW I have a few updates for you guys:

1. I was able to speak at St. Paul’s parish and fund raise for missions. God bless ALL of you at St. Paul’s! Thank you so much for your generosity!

2. I will be going to language school in the next month or two in Mexico, be praying for me to know when God’s timing for this is.

3. In February some time I am going down to General with my mission team of Erika and the Baquets. Please pray for our safety and our ability to surrender our will’s to hear what God’s will is for us!

Well, it’s been lovely chatting with YOU, but it is now time for me to go to bed. Good night and God Bless!!

“Tremble with fear and stop sinning; think deeply about this, when you lie in silence on your beds. Offer the right sacrifices to the LORD, and put your trust in him.” Psalm 4:4-5

Don’t Forget Who You Are!

Don’t forget who you are!

Hello, my name is Sarah Carroll and I have a problem. I have what is called general anxiety disorder that requires me to take medication everyday. If I don’t take the medication that I need there are some pretty crazy (kind of funny) side effects. When I went to General Cepeda on mission in November I was feeling so good that I forgot to take my medication, I mean how easy is it to forget something that you need when you are feeling so good you feel like you don’t need medication.

Well I forgot to take my medication and I also willingly broke my singles commitment I made in September when I joined FMC. Terrible decisions. Don’t forget who you are!!! When I joined Intake in September, I became so worried about what my brothers and sisters in Christ would think of me that I wasn’t quite myself. I am a loud, obnoxious, opinionated person who likes to express my opinion.
I am also a rule follower so much so that it is almost a fault (laugh it’s funny). I am an artist, scientist, nurturer. Lover of God and daughter of God. During Intake I held back big time because I thought people wouldn’t accept my disorder and accept my personality. What a lie from Satan! You have to watch out for him, he’ll get you every time!

Throughout Intake I trusted God, but partly took my life into my own hands thinking I needed to control every situation, “Sarah, you are not in control, God is!!!” As some of you may have read previously in my blog, when God speaks to me and tells me what he wants me to do, He has to scream at me because I am sooooo stubborn. To get me to FMC, he had to make it rain in a desert, not dessert (previous blonde moment :-) ) Plans were being made for me to go to Philippines with the Alvarez family and I thought, “Wow, what a great plan, I can be super woman and fly across the world and help so many children.” I, I, I, how many times did I think what does God want? Where is God sending me? I didn’t. I took control yet again.

Don’t forget who you are and who is in control! While Susanna came home for Thanksgiving with me to meet all of my friends and family, the people that I love so dearly in Florida, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t sleep because I love my sister Susanna so much and I wanted to show her how wonderful my family is and my whole world in Florida. “Sarah, what is more important sleeping so that you are healthy or showing someone your family?” Both things are very important, but in the right context. Health is more important sometimes than doing ministry because if we aren’t healthy how can we serve God? I also couldn’t sleep in Florida because I needed to talk to Frank and Genie (my missionary parents) about the singles commitment I made and willingly disobeyed. Again big time rule follower, I can’t stand breaking rules.

In the past week I’ve had the hugest meltdown that I’ve ever had in my life and it has been a total gift from God. During my meltdown I’ve had so many flashbacks of my past life. My past life is in the past, not right now in the moment and I forgot that. God has huge plans for me and I don’t know what they are yet. All I know is that I love him so much, I love people so much, I love learning about new cultures, I love missions, I love life, I love children, I love talking, I love teaching.
All I know is that for the month of December he wants me to be with my family and I am okay with that. He knows better than I do, and I have to learn to trust him every moment of every day. I have to let him teach me how to live for today and think of today. Planning is a great thing to do, but not if it drives you crazy! Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and be okay with it. I hope you’ve enjoyed my story. I for the first time in my life feel like I really have a real story to share an I’m so excited to share it with the world!!!

Important Lessons

My time in General Cepeda has been a time of growth and learning. I’ve learned new things about my self and things that break my heart. Our first week here we had a seminar called “Life in the Spirit”. During our seminar we learned more about the holy Spirit and the gifts of the Spirit. On our last day of the seminar, we were prayed over for the holy Spirit to pour down on us and to give us the gifts of tongues, healing, prophesy, wisdom and other things. While I was prayed over, two people had visions. It’s amazing that God can speak to someone in a vision to tell someone else something. Sorry if that sentence was slightly vague! While the praying went on, I could feel the presence of the Spirit in the room and emotions were definitely high. Just about everyone was crying. It was truly a moving and amazing experience.

We didn’t really start going to the ranchos (small villages on the outskirts of General) or on home visits until the second week. For my first home visit, we visited a lady named Maria. She has a little more money and a nicer home than most of the people we visit, but she is very sick. When we got there and she was lying in a bed all covered up. She actually spends all her time in bed these days. When we got there, she had a bandage on her big toe, so during conversation Brianne (the missionary leading my group on home visits) asked her what happened to her toe. Maria’s daughter had to answer for her because Maria didn’t’ know what was wrong with her toe. Maria’s daughter took the bandage off to show us. Maria has gangrene. It has caused her to lose her right leg and the flesh on her big toe. She will probably also lose her left leg.

To make a long story shorter, before we left we asked if there was anything that she would like us to pray for. She asked, “Can you pray for this world that we live in, for peace in the world?” Wow! Was I shocked at her prayer request. Here is this lady who is confined to her bed, probably in so much pain everyday and instead of asking us to pray for healing from gangrene or healing from her suffering, she asked for us to pray for world peace. Brianne brought to mind when we left, that she asked us to pray for a world that has already forgotten that she exists; a world that doesn’t care about her at all. This experience was definitely an important lesson. It reminded me that I need humility and that I also need to think others more important than myself. Life doesn’t revolve around me, nor is it about me; it’s about what the Lord can use me for to better His kingdom.

We’ve visited several ranchos the second week, but one sticks out in my mind. This rancho was really far away. It took about forty-five minutes to get there. Odilio, Sidney, and I gave testimonies without really being prepared to share. Come holy Spirit!! After we gave testimonies one of the men that lives in the rancho stood up to share a testimony. He shared how his parents raised him to have great faith in the Lord. He also shared that the Lord takes care of them. When he was talking he said how some days they go with out food, but the Lord always provides. This statement broke my heart. Here I am, an American that considers myself to be living in Gospel poverty, but I eat at least three meals a day. Through this man’s testimony, I realized that having three meals a day isn’t a necessity, but rather, a luxury. I also realized that in missions so many of the people I come in contact with are going to have physical needs like medication, money and food. I know that I am not always going to be able to provide for their physical needs, but I can always provide for their spiritual needs. If they know the Lord, they have everything.

I know that life in missions is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I also know that it is going to stretch and grow me more than anything else I could do. I am looking forward to my first year in missions and the wonderful ways the Lord is going to bless me through the people He leads me to.

First Evangelization Night in Mexico

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve updated you guys. Life has gotten busy! I am currently in General Cepeda, Mexico. Last night was our first evangelization opportunity. We would normally go to one of the local villages and invite all of the people to the chapel for a prayer meeting, but because of the violence in other parts of Mexico we are taking special safety precautions by not traveling out of the city at night. We went to a little chapel on a hill and held a prayer meeting. I was given the opportunity to share a testimony of how the Lord increased my faith. It is amazing how God can change your fears, or give you courage when you need it. I used to freak out if I had to stand up in front of people to share. I would actually avoid it at all times!! Now, the more I get up in front of people and share, the more the Lord is healing me of my public speaking fear!

After few other missionaries and I shared my testimony, Mrs. Genie preached. We also sang a few songs and praised the Lord together. If you’ve never had the opportunity to praise the Lord with people who speak a different language then you, you need to come to Mexico!!! It is amazing to know that the Lord can understand the person next to me speaking another language and me at the same time! Okay, back to last night…after Mrs. Genie preached we offered prayer for the people. We stood in the front of the chapel and people would come to be prayed over. I could definitely feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. While I was praying for one of the ladies, I felt the Lord say, “Let go Sarah. Let go of your fears of what I might do through you. Let go and let me work through you.” I know that the Lord provided miracles last night.

Throughout my training, I’ve heard so many stories of the signs and wonders people have seen God do. I’ve thought how awesome that those people experienced God in that way, but surely I cannot do that. Not true! I know that God wants to do signs and wonders through me. I know that he wants to use me to provide miracles for others; I just have to be open for it. Please pray for me. Pray that I can completely abandon myself so that the Lord can work in me and through me. Pray for my fears of the gifts of the Spirit will fade away and that I will receive the gifts of the Spirit. Pray that the Lord will use me for His kingdom building. God Bless you all!!

Give Praise

For the past several days, I've had this feeling of exhaustion that I could not shake. I can't seem to catch up on sleep, no matter how many attempts I've made to go to bed earlier. When I entered into my personal prayer this morning while sitting on the porch swing, I was praying about my tiredness amongst other things and a powerful wind began blowing. I felt as though it was the Spirit of the Lord, reminding me of His presence. When I would pray for specific things the wind would blow harder. I really felt the holy Spirit telling me, "I got this, it's in my hands. Let go. I am taking care of it." What a relief! Now that I'm reflecting back on those moments this morning, I am thinking how much power things have over us when we hold on to them; even the things that aren't bad things. I've been praying really hard for a friend of mine and this person has been heavy on my heart. This morning during my prayer time, I felt like I had a revelation. All I can do is pray and plant seeds. I am not responsible for making those seeds grow. Praise God! Some weight has been lifted. Some energy has been restored!

During our community prayer this morning we each lifted up our petitions to the Lord, and again I prayed for the Lord to provide me with energy and strength I need for the day. I asked him to relieve me of my tiredness. After our community prayer we had our Si Senor talk and it was ALL about praise and thanksgiving. We read many MANY scriptures in the bible about giving praise and thanksgiving and really just spent time discussing instances in our own lives where we gave praise to the Lord. After our talk was over we sang a praise song to the Lord and I felt so energized. I felt the burden of tiredness lifted. I felt energy from the Lord and left with a knowing that I will be able to make it through this day with ease! Praise you Jesus!

"Shout joyfully to the Lord, all you lands; worship the Lord with cries of gladness; come before him wiht joyful song. Know that the Lord is God, our maker to whom we belong, whose people we are, God's well-tended flock. Enter the temple gates with praise, its courts with thanksgiving. Give thanks to God, bless his name, good indeed is the Lord, whose love endures forever, whose faithfulness lasts through every age." Psalm 100

SHOUT joyfully to the Lord. Do not keep your praises silent!!!! Glory to you O'Lord! Praise be your name!


Praise is the most powerful weapon we have against the enemy. He absolutely hates it when we won't give in to the ways of the world and instead of being negative or angry when situations arise, we praise the Lord. So give praise in ALL things, the good and the bad!